Pull The Trigger
by Science-Fantasy93
Summary: Two years ago, James' life fell apart & he's finally piecing it back together. Just when he thinks things are finally okay, he's asked to help out Katie–the girl who tore his life apart in the first place. But as old & new feelings surface & they grow closer, they find themselves on the edge of what could change their whole relationship. The question is: Who will pull the trigger?
1. Chapter 1 Proposition

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. I just like messing with James' and Katie's relationship.**_

_**A/N: Yay! A new Jatie story! To celebrate "Break the Ice's completion, I decided to go ahead and post this. This story started creeping up on me in little chunks a few months ago, and then began to shape itself one night a few weeks ago. The idea stuck, and as soon as I got the chance, I began to write it. This is a tiny bit different than what I normally write (at least, it seems that way to me), but it is James/Katie. :)**_

_**If you've read "Break the Ice", you might notice a few similarities, such as Katie's personality, and minor situations. The reason for this is that, in a way, one of the plot lines in "Break the Ice" inspired this story, but don't worry, it's not necessary to read the other story to understand this - this story is extremely different from the other. On that note, there's an OC in this. Her name's Shelby, she's 14, and she's James' sister. As much as I dislike putting new OCs in stories, Shelby was kind of needed for the plot, so she got to stay. Okay, there's another OC in this as well, but you won't meet her until the second chapter, though she'll be mentioned in this chapter. This story also kind of starts up slow, though it'll pick up. There's just a bunch of stuff that needs to be established first, so bear with me?**_

_**As always, humongous thanks to Dana2184 for reading the first chapter and loving it and urging me to post it. If you haven't already, go and check out her story "Cold Dark December". It's a thriller/mystery/romance and it's Jatie.**_

_**Okay, so, this is an AU, set in Minnesota. James is 24 and Katie is 20.**_

_**Warnings: Language, mentions of alcohol, and sexual innuendos.**_

_**Enjoy the first chapter :)**_

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**Pull The Trigger - Definition From Urban Dictionary:  
1. To take decisive action with no certainty of the outcome  
2. To make a decision that may very well require inflicting a result that is detrimental to self or others.  
3. To initiate positive change in a new romantic relationship. This could take the form of telling someone you like them, asking someone on a first date, or kissing them. **

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**Chapter One – Proposition**

**James' POV**

One of the nice things about being an adult and a high school/college graduate is that I haven't had to worry about school in over two years. School is just a place that kids go to before heading off to college, which in all honesty isn't actually all that remarkable. Everyone always talks about college like it's some kind of machine that'll transform you from a bratty teenager into a mature young adult, but I have yet to see it work its magic.

If I grew up at all since I was eighteen, it was because I got older. College had nothing to do with it.

And neither did high school. I never actually thought I would step foot within a one block radius of the Sherwood Lake High School once I graduated, but I was wrong.

Luckily, I probably wasn't actually going to have to go inside. I was just going to have to wait for the bell to ring and for the kids to escape from the dark, winding, torturous halls that made up my old high school.

Mom was just lucky I loved her and my little sister, Shelby, because if anyone else had asked, I would have laughed uproariously and the hung up on them faster than you could say "high school parking lot".

I flipped on my right turn signal and steered the car into said high school parking lot. The first kids were already trickling out through the front doors, and more than once I had to slam on the brakes to keep from getting my ass sued off. It was with a sigh of relief that I guided the car into a parking spot and put the gears in park before shutting the ignition off.

I grabbed my phone and checked the time: 2:20. Shelby would be getting out any moment.

I unbuckled my seatbelt, opened the car door, and clambered out, still holding onto my phone. Once the car was locked up I made my way across the parking lot to the path leading down from the doors and hung to the side so that I didn't get run over by a horde of teenage girls.

I had no idea if I was just old, or if teenage girls had gotten a lot more…slutty looking since I'd been in high school. Granted, I was twenty-four, so it had been awhile, but still. All that makeup, with their hair styled to look messy, while wearing clothes that a street walker would probably blush at the thought of even looking at…Well, okay, that last part may have been a little off, but not by a lot. The clothes were probably within the high school dress code limits, but they were definitely pushing some boundaries.

I felt like a pedophile just by looking at them. And I wasn't even ogling them!

Geh.

Before I could put too much thought into it, my phone burst into song and I peered at the screen to see the Caller I.D. Kendall Knight.

I answered the call, putting my phone up to my ear. "What's up, dude?"

"Apparently there's some creepy guy in his twenties standing around the high school and staring at all the teenage girls passing by."

"Oh, ha, hah, very funny. If any guy is staring at the girls, it's because it's like watching a train wreck."

"Sure it is," Kendall teased. "Anyway, I need to talk to you about something."

"So you followed me? Getting a bit stalker-ish, aren't we?"

"At least I'm not standing around, ogling girls who are ten years younger than me."

"The fact that you know that they're ten years younger than me worries me a lot more than you just tailing me. Should I turn you into the police?"

"Please don't. Jo will kill me, and we had plans for tonight."

"Please, don't elaborate."

"We're going to play Hockey Player and the Groupie."

"Somehow that doesn't sound like a party game."

"Only if you're into orgies."

I glanced around to try to find him so that I could shoot him a glare. "Yeah, okay, gross, dude. When I said _don't elaborate_, I was serious."

"But I'm excited," he whined. "And you just threatened to turn me into the cops and ruin my chances of ever seeing her in some skimpy little outfit with my name painted across her chest."

I gaped wordlessly at the phone.

"Anyway, I'm heading straight for you. And get that stupid look off your face, you look ridiculous."

"If you talk like that when Shelby gets here, I'll make sure you never get the chance to see Jo like that."

"So touchy. She knows you get stupid looks on your face and that you look ridiculous."

"I meant about your name painted across her chest!" I growled.

Several passing students gave me a bunch of odd looks, and the only teacher in ear shot waggled her finger at me, throwing a disapproving look at me.

Please. Like teenagers don't have access to HBO and the internet.

That reminded me. I needed to make sure Mom and Dad weren't letting Shelby watch anything that would corrupt her mind.

"Oh, _that_," Kendall said as if a light bulb was flashing on in his head. "Yeah, don't worry, I'd never say anything like that in front of Shelby."

"Good. Because she's only fourteen and I want to keep her innocent for awhile longer."

"I wonder how well that actually worked when I tried to do the same thing with Katie…"

"Katie and Shelby are two different people," I huffed out.

"Yeah, I know. Shelby's a sweetheart and Katie can be a…a word that you should not use to describe your sister."

"Exactly." Although, in all fairness, Katie had never been a bitch to me. Never. Not once. I had seen her rip into people when she was in high school, but she was always on her best behavior when it was just us.

"Anyway, hang up, I'm almost there."

I ended the call and looked around just in time to see Kendall hurrying up the path towards me, hands in his pockets, flannel shirt a little too big for his frame. He might have been a hockey player, but he had never really buffed out. But that didn't matter, not when he had the best aim or the strongest swing in the freaking state.

Kendall grinned at me once he reached me. "Long time no see."

"Gee, I wonder why," I teased as I pulled him into a bear hug. "It might have something to do with the fact that you're always training."

"Says the guy who performs in about ten plays a year," he shot back. "Workaholic much?"

"Actor-holic."

"Ah, of course." He stepped back, grin widening.

"So, what're you doing here?" I asked him as I slipped my phone into my jeans pocket. "Or did you just follow me to the high school for the hell of it?"

"I have a favor to ask you, and I texted you but you didn't answer, so I called your mom and she said you were picking up Shelby. So I figured I'd join you since I hadn't seen either of you in a couple of months."

"Yeah, we really need to work on that. Anyway, what's the favor?"

Kendall shuffled his feet slightly, shifting his weight from side to side. "Well…the thing is…"

"I swear, if you ask me to double date with you and Jo again, I will punch you. The last time we double dated, we ended up watching this cheesy romantic comedy and you and Jo spent the entire time making out, while my date and I tried not to throw up."

"So melodramatic." He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, that's not what I want to ask you about. But, do you even have a girlfriend?"

"Wow. Thanks. You make it sound like I'm hideous or something."

"Maybe just socially awkward."

"Again, thanks."

"That's not what I meant, anyway. I just….you haven't really dated for the past couple of years. You had a girlfriend constantly in high school and through most of college, and then…you kind of abandoned any sort of relationship and just started sleeping around."

I looked away from him, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my leather jacket. That particular period of time wasn't something I actually liked talking about. Or thinking about. Or remembering.

"Look," Kendall wheedled, "we were all really worried about you. I mean, you had a new girl every night."

"I'm aware of that," I replied testily. "I was there."

"I just…what happened?"

"Life happened."

"Anyway…um…that wasn't the point. But _are_ you seeing someone?"

"Yeah, believe it or not, I did find someone."

"I didn't mean to imply – "

"I know. It's cool, forget about it."

"I – okay…" he said meekly, staring down at the ground. "What's she like?"

"Her name's Bailey. She's really nice, really sweet, and really smart. She actually went to college with us, though we never really crossed paths. She's a wildlife biologist, stationed at the college to do research for the time being."

"So she studies animals?"

"Yeah, she loves them."

"Awesome. Has your mom met her yet?"

"Not yet…"

Kendall raised an eyebrow at me. "How long have you been seeing her?"

"For about two months."

"And your mom hasn't talked you into a one on one meeting?"

"I'm just kind of…putting it off…Bailey's not exactly the kind of girl my mom wants for me."

Kendall shook his head, before narrowing his eyes.

"What?"

He nodded in the direction of the stairs. "That guy looks like he's hitting on Shelby."

I whipped around to see for myself. Sure enough, there was some scrawny kid standing way too close to my little sister, talking to her. As I watched, she threw her head back and laughed.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Clenching my fists into balls, I stormed over there, Kendall following close behind me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with _my_ little sister?" I demanded of the kid.

He let out a nervous squeak, reminding me a bit of Logan when he got anxious or scared. "I – I – I just wanted to borrow her – her – biology notes…"

"Oh, likely story," Kendall scoffed from behind me. "Do you know how many times I 'borrowed' a girl's notes?"

"James," Shelby said, slipping between me and the boy. "He's my lab partner in biology. This is strictly business."

"Oh." My shoulders slumped. "My bad. Sorry."

She nodded before turning back to the boy. I shuffled the couple of steps over to Kendall.

"I hope word gets around that her big brother hangs outside the school," I mumbled to him out of the corner of my mouth. "So that the boys will stay away from her."

Kendall nodded in agreement.

"Anyway." I crossed my arms and fixed him with my best piercing stare. "What's the favor you need to ask of me?"

"See…about that. _Favor_…the word just sounds so wrong, you know? Seriously, you'd really just be doing a good deed. You'd be a really good Samaritan if you did this. I mean, you know, the whole thing with favors is so over rated. I owe you a favor, you owe me one…Although you totally do. Remember that time in our junior year of college – "

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I held up my hand, silencing him. "I remember, mainly because you've never let me forget. Anyway, what do you need me to do?"

"James. Buddy. Best friend. Old pal. Brother of the ice. Nicest dude in the entire world. No, wait, the entire galaxy. The entire universe. The entire – "

"I get it. I'm an amazing person. Now, _what is it_?"

"You know how you have a two bedroom apartment?"

"Yeah."

"And you only sleep in one bedroom?"

"That's the way it usually works."

"How would you feel about having someone occupy the other room?"

I furrowed my brow. "Like a roommate?"

Kendall did the double finger pistols at me. "Yes, exactly. Like a roommate. I couldn't have put it better myself."

"Cool. I could use someone to split half the rent. Who'd you have in mind?"

Kendall stretched his mouth into a wide, excited smile. I suddenly had the strangest sense of foreboding.

"Well. About that. You're going to _love_ my suggestion. I mean, seriously, I'm a genius for even coming up with it."

"Just tell me who you think my new roommate is."

"Okay, you ready?"

I grabbed his shoulders, shaking him a couple of times. "I've been ready for the past five minutes."

"Okay. Katie!"

"I – what – ?"

"Katie's going to be your new roommate."

My hands dropped to my sides. "No, she's not."

"Yes, she is. Isn't that just a fantastic idea? I mean, sheesh. I can't believe I didn't come up with it before."

"Katie's not going to be my roommate."

"Oh, come on. Why not?" he whined.

"For one thing, I've barely spoken to her in two years."

"Okay. Okay. I know you two had a falling out right after she graduated from high school, but that was _two years_ ago. That's, like, centuries."

"It's not even half a decade. Shelby, you ready to go?" I added to her.

She glanced over her shoulder at me. "Just about."

"Okay. I'm going to wait in the car."

"James, come on." Kendall hurried after me as I stomped down the steps, heading for the parking lot.

"No. She's not going to be my roommate. I'm not living with her, Kendall."

"You two were so close when you were younger. What happened?"

"It's none of your business! It's between Katie and me." I fumbled in my coat pocket for my car keys and pulled them out.

"But it's affecting both of you. And she needs a place to stay. The dorm she's staying in at the college this year is a party dorm. There's a ton of drinking, a ton of drugs, a ton of hookups, a ton of parties. Do you really want someone who used to be like your little sister living in those kinds of conditions? Her GPA has already dropped since the quarter began."

I spared him a quick glance. "She's not my sister."

"But she was like your sister."

"Kendall, just drop it. It's not going to happen."

He stamped his foot. "Why not?"

"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought only toddlers and teenage girls did that. Are you going to throw a fit next?"

"Maybe. Why don't you want her living with you?"

"Why the hell do you think?!"

"Look, I know whatever happened between you two hurt you. But you haven't even talked to each other since last Thanksgiving. And even then you barely said two words to each other."

"That's not my fault. She initiated the silence. At least, I think she did."

"That's my point! You don't even remember! You were both drunk when you got into the fight!"

"I'm at least ninety percent sure that she's the one who stopped talking to me."

"There's an infallible percentage."

I sighed and turned to face him. We had reached my car now, and I had one hand on the door. "When I woke up the next morning after the night of the party, when we had the falling out, all the contacts in my phone had been changed to Harry Potter characters. Remember? I had to send out a mass text so that I could figure out who was who."

Kendall cracked a smile. "Logan was Hermione Granger."

"Yeah. And you were Ron Weasley. And I'm pretty sure that means that Katie was Ginny Weasley. Only I never heard back from Ginny. I never heard back from Katie."

"Maybe her phone died."

"Not an excuse."

"Maybe she lost her phone."

"I think you'd know if she had."

He groaned. "Will you please just think about it? I'm not saying you have to make a decision right this very moment. But just…consider it? You said yourself that you could use someone else to split the rent with."

"Can Katie even afford it?"

"She has a job at that clothing store she loves so much. What's it called?" He snapped his fingers as if that would help him remember the name.

"Clara's Clothes."

"Yeah, that's the one. See? You can remember where she works and I can't. This is why she should live with you."

"Why can't she just live with Jo or Stephanie or Camille?"

"Because when I'm in town, I'm living with Jo. And Stephanie's living with Carlos and Camille's living with Logan."

"What about Lucy?" I asked desperately.

"You know Lucy never stays in one place for very long."

I groaned, leaning back against the car door. "I'll think about it. But I'm not promising anything."

Kendall beamed. "Thanks, James! Call me when you decide." And before I could even blink, he was dashing away as if he was afraid if he stuck around any longer I would decide not to let Katie live with me.

I shook my head, but perked up when I saw Shelby hurrying towards me, dark brown ponytail swinging. She smiled at me as she reached the car and threw her arms around me.

I hugged her back.

"So, what're you doing here?" she asked me once she had pulled back.

"Mom and Dad both had doctor's appointments and couldn't make it, so Mom asked me to come pick you up. Hope you don't mind."

"I think I'll live," she teased.

"Good. So, I was thinking we could grab a late lunch at Fun Burger if you want."

Her face lit up. "I haven't been there in ages."

"Then get in."

She hurriedly climbed in and I did too.

Forty-five minutes later, we were sitting in one of the booths at Fun Burger, sipping on huge shakes and waiting for our food to arrive.

Shelby tightened her ponytail before checking her phone.

"How's high school going?" I asked as she set her phone down on the table. "Making any friends?"

She shrugged. "I have a couple of friends from middle school, but no one who I'm really close to yet."

"Give it time. High school sucks."

"It does," she agreed, sighing a little.

"Any boys whose asses I'm going to be kicking in the near distant future?"

She blushed a bright red.

I quirked an eyebrow. "Who is he?"

"He's no one…"

"Uh huh. Sure. And I'm a ballerina."

"He's just a boy on the hockey team…He's a junior," she added as I took a sip of my milkshake.

I choked, coughing for a good thirty seconds before I could swallow again. "A junior?!"

"Yeah…Don't worry," she said quickly. "He doesn't even know I exist."

"Who is this asshole?"

"I already told you."

I crossed my arms. "I don't like him. If you like someone, then he should like you back."

Shelby shrugged. "Whatever. I don't have a chance with him. Why was Kendall at the school today?"

"He came to talk to me about something…"

She sipped on her shake. "What about?"

"He wants me to let Katie move in with me."

Her eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

"Dead."

"Oh, wow…Are you going to let her?"

"I don't know. I haven't figured that out yet. On the one hand, I don't make a lot of money and I'm trying not to borrow money from Mom and Dad. I could really use someone else paying at least part of the rent. But on the other hand…"

"On the other hand, things would be weird and it would probably be really hard for you to live in the same apartment with her, especially after what happened."

"Exactly. I know it was two years ago, but things are just finally starting to get better. I don't want to ruin it."

Our food arrived, the waitress sliding our plates neatly in front of us before bustling off. I took a bite of my burger to distract myself from the situation at hand, and Shelby lifted a fry to her mouth.

After a few moments of silence except for the sound of chewing, Shelby looked at me. "You have to do what's best. That's what Mom always says, and you know she's right. You have to do what you think is best for you."

I drummed my fingers on the table. "How did you get so fucking wise?"

She grinned at me cheekily. "Must be all the HBO I watch."

"I'm telling Mom and Dad to reinstall the parental controls on the TV."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Jamie."

Shaking my head, I grabbed my phone and dialed Kendall's number. He answered on the second ring: "Yeah?"

"Is there a way that I can see Katie?"

An hour and a half later, Kendall and I were crossing Sherwood College's football field, heading towards the bleachers where the varsity cheerleaders were huddled together in a group, hair pulled back in perfect ponytails, their uniform sweaters tugged around their tiny bodies tightly.

I could see Katie in the middle of the group, legs stretched out in front of her, arms crossed as she glared at the girl sitting beside her.

Kendall and I exchanged looks before picking up our pace. We knew the look on her face all too well. It was the expression that signified a bitch attack was on its way.

As we drew closer, Katie got to her feet. "I don't know why you even bother, Carla. We both know you lied straight through your teeth to me, and you know how I feel about liars."

"I didn't lie!" the other girl insisted.

"Either way, you're a worthless excuse for a cheerleader, and our coach agrees."

"Coach Willa never said that," another girl piped up.

"She implied it," Katie growled out, whipping around to face her next attacker. "So. Here's the deal. Either you guys listen to me, or I'm going to make your life a living hell, and you know I can. _I'm_ the one with the experience here."

"We were all cheerleaders in high school!" the second girl snapped. "I don't know who the hell you think you are – "

Katie stormed over to her and pushed herself up onto the seat above her so that she was a few inches taller than her. "I'm your worst nightmare, you stupid little bitch. And when it comes to cheerleading, I don't mess around. Now get the fuck out of my sight. Practice is over."

I looked at Kendall. "She hasn't changed much since high school."

Kendall groaned. "She's gotten a little better in some ways, but…She doesn't mess around with cheerleading or boys or social status. She never completely grew out of her high school ways, you know?"

I nodded, turning back so that I was facing the bleachers. The girls were now scurrying away, although a couple of the cheerleaders hung back. Katie seemed to visibly relax as they struck up a conversation with her, and a moment later she was laughing.

One of them said something, and Katie looked around. A moment later, her eyes alighted on Kendall, and then on me. For a long moment, our gazes locked, eyes zoning into the others'. Time stilled, the earth froze in rotation, and there was no one else around us.

And then she blinked and turned her head, and I looked away as well, crossing my arms over my chest.

She hopped down from the bleachers and headed towards Kendall and me, cheerleading skirt rustling in the light breeze.

"Hey," she smiled as she reached us, giving Kendall a quick hug before facing me.

"Hey," I said quietly, adjusting my jacket just for something to do with my hands. "What was that with the other cheerleaders?"

"They wanted to do a routine that would have been a complete disaster. I couldn't let that happen."

"Ah."

She pressed her lips together, before nodding towards one of the buildings a little ways away from the football field. "I'm going to go shower and change, and then maybe we could all catch up?"

"Sounds like a plan," Kendall nodded, and I made a noise of agreement.

She flashed us another smile before hurrying away towards what I figured was the women's locker room.

Once she was out of sight, I looked at Kendall. "Okay. I'll do it. She can come live with me."

He beamed. "You won't regret this, I promise."

Too late. I already did regret it.

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_**So, um...did you guys like it okay? Hate it? Possibly love it? Enjoy it? I know it's probably a little bit confusing, but things will be cleared up in the next few chapters, so I hope you decide to stick around for that.**_

_**On that note, if you guys could take a moment to let me know what you thought of it, I would really appreciate it! :)**_


	2. Chapter 2 Be My Roommate?

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush.**_

_**therush: So do I! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review, I really appreciate it :)**_

_**Keaton'sGirlxx: Aww, thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter :) I'll do my best to share them. ;P Yeah, Shelby's going to be more like Shane, where she's a developing character and has a role in the story. Thank you for taking the time to read and review, I mega appreciate it!**_

_**A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews, favorites, and follows! They mean the world to me! So, here's chapter two. Hopefully it'll explain things a little more fully, because I know some of you weren't entirely sure what the story is about. That being said, a couple of you said that you were excited to see bitchy Katie again, and I LOVED hearing that, because she's always so much fun to write. Anyway, this chapter starts immediately after the last one ends, just so you guys know :) Shout out to Dana2184 who's just plain awesome and always encourages me to post new stories, so thanks, hon!**_

_**Warnings: Language and sexual innuendos.**_

_**Enjoy the chapter!**_

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**Chapter Two – Be My Roommate?**

**James' POV**

It wasn't just a random decision. It wasn't like, _Oh, it's great seeing her again so she should move in with me_. It wasn't like that at all.

When Shelby had told me to do what was right for me, I knew the only way that I would really know what I should do was if I was able to see Katie again. And seeing her again had reminded me that, no matter what had happened in the past, I really did care for her and I wanted what was best for her. And if moving her in with me was the best choice for her, than I would deal with the consequences.

That being said, I knew the second it looked like there might be a problem, I was going to need to figure out another place for her to stay, because I wasn't going to put myself through that kind of torture. It just wasn't worth it. And no matter what I wanted to believe, Katie wasn't worth it. I had had to learn that the hard way two years ago, and that had been one lesson I wish I could forget.

I crossed the football field to the bleachers and took a seat, Kendall plopping down beside me.

"This is going to be awesome," he jabbered away. "She's going to be an awesome roommate, I just know it."

"You grew up with her," I reminded him. "And you used to complain on a regular basis about how much you hated living with her."

"Yeah, but I'm her brother; it's my job to complain about her as regularly as possible. But you'll probably be able to deal with her a lot better, and chances are she'll be a lot more polite about living with you."

"Speaking of which, does she even know you're trying to get her to move?"

"She knows I'm looking for a new place for her…I didn't actually tell her that I was going to ask you if she could move in with you…"

I groaned. "You're a dumbass, you know that?"

"I figured it'd be easier to get through to you first."

"She probably doesn't even want to live with me."

Kendall shrugged. "We won't know until you ask her."

"Until _I_ ask her? Excuse _you_?"

He shrank back slightly. "Or we could do it together…"

"Or you could do it by yourself."

"Do I have to? She's scary."

I glowered at him. "It was your idea."

"Fine. I'll do it. I wish she'd hurry up, it's cold out here."

"I kind of feel like we should head into the women's locker room and make sure that the other cheerleaders haven't lynched her…"

"Think they would?"

"Those cheerleaders looked pretty pissed off."

"Yeah, she needs to work on her people skills."

"And this comes as a surprise to you?"

Kendall shrugged. "Not really. Like you said, I grew up with her so I know what she's like."

"It'd be nice if she took an anger management pill or something."

"If I see them at the store, I'll make sure to buy a couple of boxes."

"Sounds like a plan." My phone beeped and I pulled it out to check the text. It was from Bailey, wanting to know if we were still on for dinner. I texted her back to let her know that we were, but I might be running a little late. "Can we make this fast?" I asked Kendall. "I have dinner plans with Bailey."

"I'll see if I can get the screaming and shouting and pulverization over by six."

"Thanks, I'd appreciate it." I shot him a smirk and he flipped me off in return.

"So, how serious are you two?" he asked me curiously.

"Serious enough, I guess."

"Are you two…you know?" He made a circle with his left thumb and index finger and poked his right pointer finger through.

"Nice." I rolled my eyes. "And yeah, a few times."

"How is it?"

"It's sex."

"But there's different levels of sex."

"She likes it pretty simple. She's not a big fan of change. Wait, why am I talking to you about my girlfriend's sexual preferences to you?"

"Because I asked?"

"Yeah…This isn't weird or uncomfortable at all…"

Kendall shrugged unconcernedly. "Well, I hope you have fun with her tonight."

"Thanks." I rested my elbows on my knees, waiting for Katie to reappear. A few seconds later, a figure emerged from the cluster of buildings that made up the gym and the locker rooms, but instead of a petite brunette, the girl was a strawberry blonde, and she was a little bit taller. Nevertheless, she crossed the field, making a straight beeline for us.

As she drew nearer, I recognized her from the group of cheerleaders who had been sitting on the bleachers. She had headed off when Katie had snapped at everyone to leave and had shot her a nasty look over her shoulder.

Brave girl.

She reached us and sat down beside me. "Hi."

"Um…hi?"

"I'm Michaela."

"James. And this is Kendall, Katie's brother," I added, gesturing to him.

"Nice to meet you. So, James. What're you doing here?" She scooted a couple of centimeters closer to me. "You look a little too mature for a college campus?"

"I'm actually here to see Katie."

"Hmmm…" She moved even closer. "Maybe the next time you come here, it should be to see me."

Before I could open my mouth to let her know that I had a girlfriend, a familiar voice called across the field, "Hey, Michaela! I'm pretty sure there's a perfectly good swim team who would welcome blow jobs. Go practice your seduction skills on them and leave James and my brother alone."

Michaela blushed and got to her feet, hurrying away past Katie, who stared after her with a satisfied look on her face.

I eyed Katie as I stood up, carefully descending the bleachers and meeting her on the field. "Was that really necessary?"

She flipped her now loose hair out of her eyes. "Yes. Yes, it was. I'm just looking out for you, Jamie. You don't know where she's been and I'm pretty sure you don't want to contract any STDs."

"I can look out for myself, Katie."

"I'm just saying, you need to be careful around here."

"I was in college myself a couple of years ago. I know what it's like."

"I just thought maybe you've forgotten since you joined the world of grownups and responsibility and maturity." She cocked her hip out, placing her hand just above it, and tilting her head so that her hair fell into her face.

I just shook my head and moved past her. Yeah, agreeing to her moving in with me was a fantastic idea. Maybe tomorrow Kendall could talk me into shaving my head.

Katie caught up with me, grabbing my arm.

"What?" I turned to face her.

"Why are you here?" she asked, deep brown eyes searching my face as she looked up at me, a sad and vulnerable expression on her face.

"Kendall has something he wants to talk to you about."

"I repeat: Why are _you_ here?"

"You'll see."

"Great. You're going all dark and mysterious on me again."

"I never went all dark and mysterious on you."

"Whatever. Where's my brother?" She looked around, whipping around until she caught sight of him slowly moving towards us. "What's taking you so long?" she called to him.

"Just admiring the scenery. Have you two made up yet?"

Katie and I glared at him and he quickly sped up.

"You two ride together?" Katie asked as we headed for the parking lot.

"We took separate cars," I told her. "Where're we going, anyway?"

"A coffee shop?" Kendall suggested.

"We could go to the campus one," Katie put in.

"We can walk there from here," I added with a nod. "Let's do it."

We changed direction, instead veering away from the parking lot and towards the main section of campus. A few minutes later, we were nestled at a table in the campus coffee shop, sipping on our drinks.

"So," Katie spoke up, looking at Kendall. "James said that there's something you want to talk to me about."

He took a long sip of his coffee before stretching out. "Okay, so..."

"So…?"

"So, you know how you were talking about maybe, possibly moving out of the dorms?"

Katie's eyes narrowed suspiciously. I wondered how far away from the coffee shop I could get before the explosion. "Yeah…I mentioned it…Why?" She slowly enunciated her words, sharpening each syllable like a knife, and I was kind of amazed that Kendall wasn't already running for his life.

Kendall gave her a would-be cheery and hopeful look. "Because I found you a place to stay!"

Her eyes darted back and forth between Kendall and me, and then she leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms. "No way in hell."

I hummed around my straw, waiting to hear Kendall's response.

He groaned. "Why not?"

"Because I'm a grown adult and I don't need my big brother to take care of me."

"Is that the only reason?"

"No. I also don't need my big brother's best friends to take care of me."

"But you need to get out of the dorm, Katie. And it's too late to request a transfer."

"So, I'll deal."

"No, you won't. You said yourself that your grades are slipping and if your grades drop enough, you'll be kicked off of the cheerleading squad. Is that what you want, Katie? You'll lose your cheerleading scholarship."

"I'll figure something out."

"I already figured something out for you. Live with James."

"Kendall," I interrupted him. "She's right. She's a grown adult and she doesn't need you making decisions for her. If she wants to move out of the dorm to come live with me, then that's her choice."

Katie inclined her head in my direction. "Thank you, James. Anyway," she continued on to me. "I can't imagine that you're thrilled about this arrangement."

"Not particularly. But the invitation's open if you do need someplace to crash, at least until you can find another place."

She took a sip of her tea, visibly thinking over what I had just said. After a few moments, she asked, "Do you have the room? Are you living with someone?"

"I have a two bedroom apartment, and I don't have a roommate. And I could use some help with the rent," I added, half in a grumble.

"Okay. Anything I should know about?"

"Such as?"

"I don't know. Certain habits you have? Noises you might make that'll wake me up?"

"The only noise complaints you might have is when my girlfriend stays over."

There was a long pause as her eyes widened and her mouth formed the shape of an O, and then her expression went back to being mildly curious. "Ah, okay. Cool. Good to know. So, like, you don't walk around naked or anything, right?"

"You know, that's not a concern most girls would have," I informed her, sucking up some of my coffee.

She gave me a sweet smile. "I'm not most girls."

"I'm aware."

"So, do I need to worry about seeing something I don't really want to see?"

I ignored the way my vital organs all seemed to be shriveling up simultaneously. "No. No you don't, so don't worry about it."

"Okay, good." She picked at her blueberry muffin, stuffing a piece into her mouth. "So, I guess I could crash at your place until I can find an apartment of my own."

"Sounds like a plan." I grabbed a bit of her muffin and popped it into my mouth, ignoring her "hey!" of protest. "How much stuff do you have?"

"Not a lot since I had to fit it all into a tiny little dorm room. My bedroom's going to be bigger than that…right?"

"Unless you have a large dorm room, then yeah, chances are it will be."

"Good. When can I move in?"

"Tomorrow?" I suggested.

"Sure. Does the morning work?"

I nodded.

"Okay, awesome." She flashed me a bright smile and I couldn't help but return it.

"I'll help you move in," Kendall volunteered. "What time should I be at your dorm room?"

"Like nine?"

"Okay. So, I guess we'll be dropping stuff off at James' place around ten?"

Katie nodded. "Yeah, about that time. That work for you?" she added to me.

"Yeah, ten's good."

"Okay, thanks. And hey, thanks for letting me move in with you."

"You're welcome. Don't make me regret it."

"I won't." She got to her feet and came around the table to hug me. I hugged her back, sighing as I buried my face in her hair. A sense of longing and sadness washed over me and it was all I could do not to cling to her. This was one of the reasons why it had been a good idea not to see her in the past two years – because whenever we had any physical contact, I never wanted to let her go.

After a few long but short seconds, she stepped out of my embrace and sat back down in her seat. "Okay, so I mostly have clothes, but I do have bedding, textbooks, just the usual school stuff."

I nodded. "Oh, and we'll need to figure out who'll take care of what. You know, chores, grocery shopping, that sort of thing."

"Okay. I guess we can try to split everything up evenly?" she suggested. "Like, I clean the living room, you clean the bathroom, and we share the responsibility to clean the kitchen?"

"That works. And then whoever can get out to do the grocery shopping? Or we could just go together if we have time."

"Yeah, we should probably just go together since we like different things. That way we're not wasting money."

"Sounds good."

Kendall grinned at us. "And you two thought this would be a really bad idea."

"Shut up," Katie and I said simultaneously before going back to our planning.

A half hour later we headed out, walking Katie back to her dorm.

"So, what're your plans for tonight?" she asked us as we reached the residence hall.

"Staying in with Jo," Kendall smiled. "We have plans."

"Don't ask," I advised her. "Or maybe you should. I didn't ask and he told me what they were doing anyway."

"We're playing Hockey Player and Groupie," Kendall announced to her.

"Okay, one – ew! And two – EW!" she screamed.

"Oh, you didn't hear the best part," I said to her. "She's going to write his name across her chest."

"I think I'm going to hurl. What're your plans?" she added once she managed to get the green out of her face.

"I'm going out to dinner with my girlfriend."

"Oh. Fun. Where're you two going?"

"Shani's Chinese."

"Oh, that's a good one. Get a to-go box for me?" she asked hopefully.

"If you're nice to me I will."

Katie pouted. "I've been very nice to you."

"I don't know…You said you didn't want to see me naked…"

"If you didn't have a girlfriend, I would push you into my room and rip your clothes off and have my wicked way with you. Will you get me a to-go box now?"

Kendall gagged. "Gross!"

"Oh, grow up," she told him before looking at me expectantly.

"Fine," I allowed as we headed for the elevators. "What do you want?"

She perked up. "Crab Rangoon and pork fried rice would be amazing."

"It'll be waiting for you tomorrow."

She beamed before sliding into the elevator. Kendall and I followed suit, Kendall still shuddering from the trauma Katie had just put him through while my body was still flushed hot from what she had told me in order to get me to agree to bring her leftovers.

Katie jabbed the button for the fifth floor and a moment later the elevator lurched, sending a stomach dropping jolt through my body. There was the dizzying sensation of the lift rising, and then it joggled, coming to a heart pounding stop. A split second later, the doors glided open and we stepped out. Katie led us down the hall to her door.

"Well, this is it. Thanks for, you know, making sure no kidnappers grabbed me." She hugged us both, unlocked the door, and slipped inside.

We retraced our steps out of the building and to the parking lot, where we fist bumped, told each other to have a good night, and that we'd see each other in the morning. We got into our separate cars and drove off in different directions.

I made my way to my apartment building, parked, and went on in. I took the elevator to my apartment, let myself in, and proceeded to get ready for my date with Bailey.

She was already at Shani's Chinese restaurant when I arrived, sitting at a back corner table and sipping a cup of tea.

I hurried over to her, bending down and pecking her lips. "I'm so sorry I'm late," I apologized as I pulled her up, hugging her tightly.

"Someone's affectionate," she teased. "And its fine, I've only been here for about ten minutes."

"Today's been crazy. I had to pick my little sister up from school, and then one of my friends showed up and needed me to do a favor for him and – "

"Why don't you tell me about it after you've looked at your menu?" Bailey suggested, pulling back and kissing my cheek. "You look a little frazzled, you should probably sit down."

I nodded and sank into the seat opposite her, taking her in. Her soft, light brown hair was pulled into a loose bun at the back of her neck, and her green eyes were lined in gentle purple pencil. She wasn't very tall, only about 5'3 or so, but she wore heels a lot so she always looked like she was around 5'5 or 5'6. That evening she was dressed in a simple dress and jacket, with a pearl necklace draped around her neck, and matching bracelets jangling on her wrists. She looked amazing, so simple yet so classy, a true scientist. I still couldn't figure out why she was interested in me, when I was just a performer.

She pushed my menu closer to me and I picked it up, paging through it before settling on mushroom beef with pork fried rice and hot and sour soup. The waitress approached us and we ordered, before passing her our menus. Once she had left, Bailey turned to me. "Okay, so tell me about your day."

"Ugh. Fuck." I raked my fingers through my hair. "Well…At this time tomorrow, I should have a new roommate."

"Really?" she smiled. "You've been talking about how much the rent's killing you. Who is he?"

"Uh…it's a she."

"Um…okay…" her smile dropped slightly. "Who is she?"

"Katie, Kendall's younger sister."

"Isn't she in college?"

"Yeah, she's a junior. She's in a party dorm this year, and her grades are dropping. Apparently if they fall much more, she'll lose her cheerleading scholarship."

"Cheerleading. Ah."

"Yeah. So, Kendall figured that if she lived with me, she'd be able to get her grades back up."

Bailey raised an eyebrow. "I don't know…You're pretty hot. How does he know that you won't just distract her more?"

"Trust me, that won't be a problem."

"But…how do you know?"

I brushed my hair back. "Let's just say she's made her feelings very clear."

"Okay…I guess I'll take your word for it. So, I don't have anything to worry about? I mean, is she pretty? What does she look like? Tall and blonde like Kendall?"

I bit my lip. "She is pretty, but…I mean, I grew up with her."

"So she's like your sister."

"Sure. And she's petite and brunette, she looks almost nothing like Kendall."

"How petite?"

"Like 5'1 in sneakers?"

Bailey let out a low whistle. "Yeah, I guess that is petite."

I nodded.

"Can I see a picture of her?"

I pulled out my phone and got into Facebook, getting into Katie's profile. "Here." I passed my phone to her and she peered at it.

She pursed her lips as she handed me my phone back. "I…um…I don't want to sound like a psycho jealous girlfriend but…I'm not entirely comfortable with her being there…I mean…She's pretty. Like über pretty. And she's a cheerleader, so she's flexible. And I know you like flexibility."

"Every guy likes flexibility."

She glared at me.

"But it's not a must-have. Don't worry about it," I added, reaching across the table and taking her hand in mine. "It's not like that, it's never been like that. Nothing has ever happened between us and it never will."

"Never say never."

"Okay. It probably won't ever happen. Anyway, she's not you. I'm dating _you_, not her."

Bailey bit her lip. "Okay…It's not that I don't trust you, because I do. I mean, I know we've only been dating for a couple of months, but I really like you."

"I really like you too."

"And I don't want to lose you."

I lifted her hand to my lips. "Believe me, you're not going to. Katie and I haven't even had a conversation in two years until today. Nothing's going to happen."

She nodded. "Okay."

"Okay. So, how was your day?"

"Also busy. The research facilities at the college just aren't up to snuff. I mean, I'm doing research for them and they don't even provide me and the other wildlife biologists with adequate equipment. It's ridiculous. I'm thinking about launching a petition to get them to fork out some money for the labs."

"The college favors the computer labs," I recalled. "And the engineering classrooms. They didn't really give a fuck about anything other than those two. Math, chemistry, physics, and computer science were the four subjects that they cared the most about. We only had three drama professors and they were all overworked. Not enough music teachers."

"The same was true for the different biology professors," Bailey nodded. "Sherwood College really needs to get their stuff together, because this is ridiculous. Do you know which classes Katie's taking? She might be having the same problem."

"I honestly couldn't tell you," I admitted. "Like I said, today's the first day in two years that I've actually had a conversation with her."

"How come?"

"We kind of had a falling out a couple of years ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry. What was it about?"

I shrugged. "Just stupid stuff."

She gave me a curious look.

"It's nothing important. It was two years ago, I'm sure we'll be able to put it behind us."

"Okay…"

Our food arrived at that moment, and we dug in, exchanging a few words here and there. Once we finished, I signaled the waitress over, but paused before asking for the check. "Could I get a serving of Crab Rangoon and pork fried rice? And could you put it in a to-go box?"

The waitress nodded and headed off.

Bailey tilted her head to the side. "Planning on a late night snack?"

"Actually, it's for Katie…"

"Oh?"

"Yeah. For when she arrives tomorrow. She asked me to get her a to-go box."

"Ah. Lucky girl."

I shrugged and pulled out my credit card, passing it to the waitress when she returned with the box. A few minutes later, we headed out.

Bailey turned to me. "What time is Katie moving in tomorrow?"

"Like ten?"

"AM?"

"Yeah."

"Do you just want to go back to your place, then? That way you don't have to drive home tomorrow morning." She wrapped her arms around my waist and I pulled her closer.

"Sure, we can do that."

"Good." She stood on her tip toes, pressing her lips to mine in a long, slow kiss. I returned it before pulling back.

"Meet you back at my place?"

She shot me a grin. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

* * *

_**Ahem. So. I know a lot of you really strong Jatie shippers are probably already considering coming after me with pitchforks and torches. But, this is a Jatie story, and if you guys want Jatie to happen, it's probably a good idea not to kill off the writer. Okay? *Blinks hopefully*. On that note, please review, because I love hearing what your thoughts and feelings are (even if, you know, you guys are ready to kill me. It's always good to know whether or not I need to go into hiding).**_


	3. Chapter 3 Full Circle

_**Disclaimer: If I owned Big Time Rush, the show would still be on and Jatie would be well on their way to being a canon couple. Clearly I don't own Big Time Rush because none of that stuff seems to be happening. *Runs away in tears***_

_**Guest (btrfanfiction1516): That's really good to hear. I don't want to either ;P I can't promise Bailey's going to be leaving anytime soon. She's kind of part of the story so...uh...yeah. Sorry about that! But thank you for taking the time to read and review, I always appreciate it :)**_

_**Orange-Coyote: I hope that good feeling persists throughout the story, and I hope the feeling that something's missing really does have to do with the fact that it's still early on...But thank you for saying that, and thank you for taking the time to read and review, I always appreciate it :)**_

_**A/N: Thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following! Everything is majorly appreciated! **_

_**Okay, so, we're onto the third chapter. The plot kind of starts picking up a little in this chapter, which I hear is always good. A couple of things are also revealed, so it gets a little bit deeper into the story as well. I do need to say this about the story as a whole - things are probably going to seem like they're moving kind of slowly, but things will pick up. It'll just take some time, so I'm sorry for the waiting, but I hope it'll be worth it :)**_

_**Warnings: Language and innuendos.**_

_**Enjoy the chapter :)**_

* * *

**Chapter Three – Full Circle**

**Katie's POV**

Thanks to Kendall's interference, I had sixteen hours to pack before it was time to move out of my dorm. So it was with a resigned sigh that I slipped my earbuds into my ears and began to get my clothes together.

With any luck, my roommate wouldn't even make an appearance, but I wasn't too hopeful. My luck hadn't exactly been all that great lately. I hadn't even wanted to be in this damn resident hall. It was infamous for the parties and the drinking and the hooking up. More girls got pregnant while they were living here than in any other dorm, and I was determined not to be one of them. But it just wasn't fair. The housing office had put me here, and now I was being punished because I was living here. It was ridiculous. It wasn't my fault that the parties could get so loud that I couldn't even concentrate.

And then Kendall went and decided that it would be a good idea to interfere in my life, and he somehow managed to talk James into letting me live with him. And then James talked _me_ into living with him. It all circled back to Kendall. Dirty, rotten manipulating big brother.

It wasn't that I didn't want to live with James, because I did. We had been pretty close when we were younger, but had…shall we say, grown apart…a couple of years ago. And the growing apart had happened in the space of about five minutes. It was kind of incredible if you really thought about it. I knew the only reason why it had even happened in the first place was because he had been a little drunk, but still. What had gone down had ended up affecting both of us. I just wasn't sure James had ever completely forgiven me…I had hurt him pretty badly that night. But at least he seemed happy, and he must have forgiven me for the most part if he was willing to let me move in with him. That wasn't something he would do if he completely hated my guts, so that was good to know.

But…I don't know. The whole situation was just messed up and Kendall didn't even know what had happened. If he had, there was no way he would have suggested that James and I move in together, let alone manage to manipulate us into agreeing to it. Anyway, James was a super hot guy. Shouldn't Kendall have at least been a little bit concerned at the prospect of his baby sister living with a guy who looked like James? Even just the teeniest, tiniest bit?

Hmmph. Some concerned brother he was.

And James really, truly was extremely hot. He looked amazing. Incredible. Better than a chocolate éclair. I wasn't into him, but I had to admit, I was a little bit jealous of his girlfriend. She got to see him naked on a regular basis. Lucky girl.

Not that I wanted to see him naked. It was just that he had really huge biceps and his shirt clung to his abs and I bet he looked amazing shirtless.

Not that I was thinking about it too much. Or drooling. Or wondering if his pecs were really as big as they looked under the thin cotton of his t-shirt.

Totally not thinking about any of that…I would never.

It wasn't my fault he was hotter than every single guy on campus, okay? And it had been two years since I had been that close to him, so of course my hormones were going to go a little nuts. But once I was used to being around him again, they would settle down and remember that he was just like my big brother. Nothing more, nothing less. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I bit my lip, thinking about our last conversation two years ago. I had told him the exact same thing…

Shaking that thought out of my head, refusing to follow the path it was racing towards, I instead focused on packing. I got my clothes, electronic gadgets, textbooks, toiletries, spare linens, and school supplies stuffed in my suitcases and backpack within a couple of hours.

I headed down to the cafeteria for a late dinner before returning to my dorm for my last night there. My roommate, Darcy, had returned, and I let her know that I was moving out the following day.

"Cool," she said as she reached for her headphones. "I would love to move in with a hot guy."

I blushed a little. "I didn't say that James was hot…"

"What does he look like?"

"He's got brown hair, hazel eyes, and he's about 6'1 or so."

"Build?"

"Muscular."

"He's hot."

"Don't you at least want to see a picture?"

"Sure."

I got into my Facebook profile on my phone and switched over to James' page. I showed it to her and she let out a low whistle.

"Damn, girl. How are you not banging that?"

"He has a girlfriend, who he's probably banging right now."

"Ouch. You poor thing."

"Not really." I shrugged. "I'm not into him."

She gaped at me, mouth open slightly. "Are you nuts?"

"Um…"

She pushed her jet black hair out of her face. "If I knew a guy who looked like that, I would be all over him. The guy's fucking hot. You should at least see if you can get him naked."

"He has a girlfriend…"

"How long has he been dating her?"

"Um…a couple of months or something."

"Eh. It probably won't last."

"Yeah, but still."

"Does he like you?"

"He's known me since I was a baby."

"So? Does he like you?"

"I haven't asked him lately."

She cocked an eyebrow, but before she could ask me any more questions, I headed into the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. I set my alarm for eight and, thinking that it was much too early to wake up on a Saturday morning and wishing that I had been smart enough to suggest that I move in the afternoon, crawled into bed.

My alarm blared loud and obnoxious at eight the next morning and it was with a groan that I reached over and smacked the _off_ button on it. From the next bed, Darcy wrapped her pillow tightly around her ears but I ignored her, stumbling out into the hall with a change of clothes and managing to get to the bathroom without running into anyone.

That was one thing I wouldn't miss – having to share a bathroom with everyone on the whole fucking floor. I didn't particularly like taking showers when the slimy guy from down the hall was in the shower next to mine. But luckily it was relatively early on a weekend morning, so the bathroom was completely empty. I managed to take a shower in privacy and dried off and dressed, before blow drying my hair and throwing it into a ponytail. I glazed on enough makeup to actually make me look awake, prayed that Kendall wouldn't mind stopping at Starbucks on the way to James' place, and headed back to my room.

I packed the stuff I had needed last night and this morning, before lugging my luggage down to the lobby where Kendall and I had agreed to meet. He arrived at nine, sharp, looking just as tired as I felt, and together we carried everything out to his car and loaded it into his trunk and into his backseat. It took a few trips, but by 9:30 everything was stored in the car for the time being.

Once I was finished admiring our handiwork, I placed my hands on my hips and turned to face him. "Can we stop by Starbucks on the way to James'?"

"Fuck yes."

True to his word, we stopped by the local Starbucks on the way to James' apartment and got our caffeine fix. I munched on a muffin as Kendall drove, occasionally offering him a bite. At last, he pulled up in front of Sherwood Apartments, a huge white building with pale blue trim and glass doors leading into what looked like a lobby.

Kendall pulled into a visitor's parking spot and we climbed out, taking our drinks with us.

"Okay, so, he's in apartment 4D…" Kendall said as he peered up at the building. "I say we just go in and make sure that he's ready for us."

I nodded in agreement, and we headed into the lobby.

It was decorated in soft pastels with floral prints, a little tacky but homey nonetheless. We grabbed the elevator up to the four floor and made our way down the hall.

"There's 4B…"

"That's 4F…"

"Here's 4D." I stopped in front of the door and knocked.

Nothing.

Kendall and I exchanged looks, before I knocked on the door again.

A couple seconds later, the door swung open, revealing James in…nothing but boxers.

I turned to Kendall. "I'm completely awake now."

"Yeah, gross," he responded, still eyeing James.

James raked his fingers through his messed up hair, yawning sleepily. "Fuck, sorry. I completely forgot to set my alarm. Late night last night."

"Uh uh…" I pushed my way into his place. "Ooh, black leather couch…flat screen TV…How very bachelor pad-ish of you."

"James?" A female voice drifted through one of the doors off of the living room. "Who is it?"

"Kendall and Katie," he answered, and a moment later a gorgeous woman came stumbling out of the bedroom, clutching a men's button up shirt around her slim frame, her hair rumpled and tangled.

I sucked on my coffee as I surveyed her. So that was Bailey, the wildlife biologist, the scientist, the girl who he was dating. He definitely had a thing for petite brunettes.

Bailey rubbed her eyes before giving me a small smile. "Hi, you must be Katie." She held her hand out to me but I didn't take it.

"Um…no offense," I said, "but I kind of don't know where your hands have been…or what they've touched…" I threw a pointed look at James, who flushed a dark red.

Bailey blushed too. "Right…Sorry…This isn't exactly how I pictured us meeting."

"Yeah, me neither." I propped myself up on one of the stools at the breakfast bar, still sipping on my coffee. "For one thing, we were both fully dressed and you didn't have any traces of James' semen on you."

She glanced at James, who didn't even look at her. He was too busy watching me, uncertainty apparent in his face.

"Um…" She cleared her throat. "I'll just go get dressed and then get out of your hair."

"You do that." I shot her a sickeningly sweet smile before muttering "slut" as she hurried back into James' bedroom. Once the door was closed, I focused my attention on James. "You have a little something right here." I indicated his left hip, where a hickey had fully blossomed. "And up here." I pointed at his right pec. "And probably one on your dick if you're into that kind of thing."

"_Katie_," Kendall gritted out warningly. "Be. Nice."

"I am being nice," I replied innocently. "I'm pointing out all the areas that he now can't show off out of the house. I wouldn't want his mom to see him shirtless and have a heart attack."

"It's too early for you to be a brat," he snapped. "And James is letting you live here. So back the fuck off."

I placed my drink on the counter and held my hands up in surrender. "Fine. I'll just go back to ogling him. Nice six pack by the way," I added to James as I went back to my coffee. "Does your girlfriend do body shots off of your abs?"

"Bailey doesn't drink," he finally managed to get out.

"Pity. They're just begging to have salt licked off of them."

He crossed his arms over his chest and glowered at me. I smiled brightly at him in return.

"I'm going to go get dressed," he announced a moment later, letting his arms fall to his sides. "And then we'll get Katie's stuff in here." He shot me another glare as he headed into his room. I could hear him and Bailey talking quietly, and I rolled my eyes.

"He forgot to set his alarm…Bullshit. I bet Bailey turned it off."

Kendall scowled at me. "Bailey seems like a really nice girl."

"Who's sucking your best friend's dick."

"Like I said, she seems like a really nice girl. You should give her a chance instead of just jumping to conclusions."

"Of course, _Dad_. I'll keep that in mind, _Dad_."

"Father knows best," he shot back.

"Whatever." I finished off my coffee and hopped down from my stool, checking under the kitchen sink for the trashcan. Sure enough, there it was. I tossed my empty cup in and straightened up, just in time to see Bailey emerge from the room.

She gave me a shaky smile. "Hopefully next time we'll meet under better circumstances."

"Sure," I replied. "Hopefully next time you won't have just finished fucking my roommate."

"Yeah, it's too early for a peace conference…I'm going to head out. Um…have fun moving everything in."

"Thanks," Kendall smiled at her, just as James joined us again, unfortunately fully clothed.

He hurried over to Bailey and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her deeply. She kissed him back, melting into him.

Ugh. PDA. I was never a fan of it.

He pulled back a moment later and she pecked his lips quickly before dashing out of the apartment.

Yeah, I definitely didn't like her. If she really wanted to get on my good side, she would have stuck around to help us move everything in instead of just rushing off like the apocalypse was on its way.

James could definitely do better.

I slinked over to him, thinking that maybe it would be more effective if I wasn't in jeans that I had bought from the girls' section at Kohl's. I batted my lashes at him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Oh, God, James! Whatever will I do now that you're helping your new roommate move in and I'm so helpless and slutty!" I hitched a leg as best as I could around his waist, given the major height difference, and pushed my chest against him. "Oh, baby!"

Kendall stared at me. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Imitating what's-her-face. What else would I be doing?"

"Yeah, this is the way to get someone to want to let you live with them – making fun of their girlfriend. I'll remember that the next time I need to move in with someone."

"You do that."

James gently pried me away from him. "And Bailey is not helpless. Or slutty," he added, throwing me a look like I was the queen of whoreville. Which I totally wasn't, by the way. I had had sex exactly once, two years ago, and I had never regretted it.

"Sure," I rolled my eyes, placing my hands on my hips. "That's why she came dashing out here in just your shirt. And that's why she didn't stick around."

"She reacted, okay? And she has to get to the college."

"The college? How old is she?"

"She's twenty-five. And she works there."

I blinked. "She's a professor?"

"No. She works in their wildlife biology research department." He ran his fingers through his still messy hair.

"Oh. Right. Yeah. Scientist and all that."

James nodded. "Anyway, you have everything in the car?"

"Yeah. Hey, did you remember my Crab Rangoon and rice?"

He smiled a little. "As a matter of fact, I did."

I beamed. "Thanks, Jamie!" I hugged him for real this time before dashing out of the apartment and into the hall. Kendall and James followed closely behind, grabbing the elevator down to the lobby before walking out into the parking lot. We hauled everything up to the apartment, making a couple of trips before everything was out of Kendall's car.

Kendall eyed the bundle of bags on the floor before hugging me and then James. "I'll see you guys later, okay? I'm going to be around for the next week, so have me over for dinner or something. Or, hey, Jo and I'll have you two over for dinner."

James nodded, slipping his hands into his jeans pockets. "Sounds like a plan."

Kendall headed off, leaving me with James.

I grinned at him. "So, should Kendall and I have called?"

"Probably. I'm sorry about that, I can't believe I forgot to set my alarm."

"No biggie, it happens."

He nodded again, silence falling between us, and in spite of myself, I couldn't help but flash back to the last time we had been alone. I wondered if he was remembering it too…hating me for it…

"I'll show you to your room," he offered, breaking the awkward silence, and I gave him a small smile, following him into through the second door off of the living room. I figured the third door was the bathroom, but I glanced towards it anyway. I could see a shower peeking out through the open door, confirming my suspicions.

"So, what rules do I need to follow around here?" I asked as he pushed the bedroom door open.

"Mainly, just clean up after yourself, and if you have a boy in your room, don't be too loud."

I snorted. "For me to have a boy in my room, it would require a boy to actually be interested in me."

He gave me a long look and I knew exactly what he was thinking – that if things had turned out differently, I wouldn't have that problem.

After a long pause, he said, "Weren't you dating someone kind of recently?"

"Yeah, well, it didn't exactly work out," I mumbled, tugging my sweatshirt tightly around me as if to shield my body from the prying questions I knew he would never ask.

"What happened?"

"He didn't like keeping his attention on just one girl. He thought he'd sample a few more, so I decided to sample my popcorn over his head."

"You caught him at the movies?"

"Making out with the girl right in front of me. He's probably still rinsing the root beer from his eyes."

"I'm sorry."

I looked at him, half surprised. "Are you?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"First of all, it's not your fault. And second, I'd think you'd be happy that my relationships aren't working out. I mean, considering what happened…"

"Believe it or not, I really do care about you," James said quietly. "It's why I agreed to let you move in with me. And I don't want you to get hurt by anyone. I just want you to be happy. I'm going to go grab your bags so that you can get settled in." He turned for the door, heading for the living room.

"James?" I called after him.

He glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"I know. You said that two years ago. Forget about it, it's done with." And with that, he made his way into the next room, leaving me wondering if maybe I had screwed up even more than I had thought I had.

* * *

**James' POV**

Once I dropped Katie's bags off in her room, I closed the door behind me and crossed the apartment into the kitchen. I put a kettle of water on the stove, and once it was boiling, I poured it into a mug, slipping a teabag in. Once the tea was strong enough, I squeezed the teabag with tongs and tossed it in the trash. I dumped in a couple of spoonfuls of sugar, stirring it thoroughly, and added a little bit of milk. My dad had always teased me about pouring milk into my tea, but I liked it that way. To me, it added a little extra something to the tea, and it helped to cool it down faster.

I retrieved my phone from my bedroom and sat down on the couch, still clutching my mug of tea. I placed it on the coffee table and got into my address book, clicking on a certain number.

I put my phone up to my ear, listening to the ringing on the other end.

On the third ring, a female voice answered, "Hey, you. Haven't heard from you in awhile. What's up?"

After a long sip of my tea, I replied, "Can we meet up for lunch? I really need to talk to you. It's about Katie…"

"Yeah, definitely. One-o-clock at Carter's Subs?"

"Yeah, that works," I agreed. "See you then."

"See you then."

I hung up, finished my tea, and headed into the bathroom to finish getting ready for the day.

I had explained the situation with Katie moving in the day before to my landlord when Bailey and I had gone back to my apartment, and he was pretty cool about the whole thing. He showed up at my front door around noon with a spare key and a copy of the contract I had had to sign when I moved in. I called Katie out and had our landlord, Dave, go through the contract with her.

While they were going over the specifics and she was paying him a month's rent, I finished cleaning up and grabbed my car keys and wallet.

Katie and Dave were just about finished with everything, so he headed out and Katie gave me a small smile. "I'm going to grab some things from my parents' place."

"Okay. I have lunch plans, so…"

"In that case, would you mind giving me a ride over? I was just going to ride the bus, but…"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Thanks. You don't have to pick me up, I'm just going to take my parents' spare car. You know, the old Toyota Camry that hasn't been driven since I started college?"

"Yeah, that one. Isn't it, like, from '94?"

"Something like that. Either way, it needs to be driven and my dad's agreed to let me use it until I can buy my own car."

"Cool." We made our way down to the parking lot and I led her to my car. We climbed in and I drove her across town to her parents' place. Once she was dropped off, I drove over to Carter's Subs, a sandwich shop with the best clam chowder this side of the Mississippi river.

I parked and went on in. Lucy was the only one in line at the moment, and it was with a small breath of relief that I walked over to her. She smiled at me as I approached, holding her arms out for a hug. I pulled her into a tight embrace, sighing deeply.

She stepped back after a moment, fixing me with a reassuring look. "Let's order our food and then you can tell me what's going on with Katie."

"Okay."

Once we had decided what we wanted, we ordered at the counter before grabbing drinks and taking seats at a quiet table towards the back.

Lucy sipped on her soda before raising her head to look at me. Her long black hair was streaked with red as usual, and her black leather jacket was tight around her upper body.

"Well," she said as she leaned back against her chair, "I know you didn't ask me to meet you here for a booty call since you have Bailey."

I laughed a little, taking a sip of my own soda. Lucy and I had dated our freshman year of college, and while it hadn't worked out, we had remained friends while continuing to hook up occasionally when one of us needed someone. It worked for us, and at the end of the day we were there for each other.

"Yeah, I don't really need a fuck buddy right now," I replied.

"So, what's up? You said on the phone that it was about Katie. What happened? Is everything okay?"

"Lucy…I did something really stupid…"

She pressed her lips together. "What did you do, James?"

"It's…Oh God…"

"James?" She was starting to sound worried now. "I haven't seen you look so…messed up…since the morning after you and Katie had your falling out."

"She moved in with me this morning." The words fell from my lips like a proclamation that the world was ending, ringing with hopelessness and vulnerability.

Her eyes widened. "She moved in with you?! You dumbass! What the fuck are you thinking?! You can't just go and let Katie Knight live with you! That is seriously the stupidest thing I've heard in ages. That is the stupidest thing you've ever done!"

"I know. Believe me, Luce, I know that."

"What the hell would possess you to do such a thing?"

"I saw her again."

"James…_please_ don't go down this road," she pleaded desperately. "It almost killed you two years ago. You're just finally doing okay again."

"Katie's not the only one who screwed me up, you know. I had something to do with it."

"We both know she's what triggered it, she's the one who pulled the trigger. I can't believe you're letting her live with you."

"That makes two of us. And she's…she's different…then she used to be…"

"You mean she's no longer a bitch?"

"No, she's still a bitch. She was a bitch to Bailey this morning."

"She saw Bailey this morning?"

"Bailey and I were in bed when Katie and Kendall showed up with her stuff."

"Oh, shit." Lucy clapped her hand over her mouth.

"Yeah, tell me about it. And then Katie got all seductive. I mean, I think she was just making fun of Bailey, but she said something yesterday…She wanted me to get her food from the restaurant that Bailey and I were going to for dinner, and not too long before that she had said that she didn't want to see me naked – long story, I'll explain later – so I told her I wouldn't get her food because she wasn't being nice, and she said that if I didn't have a girlfriend, she would push me into her dorm room and rip my clothes off and have her wicked way with me."

Lucy choked on a sip of her drink. "Holy fuck."

"I know." I rested my head in my hands. "I don't know what I've gotten myself into. Lucy, I'm so fucked."

"Yeah, you are," she agreed.

I shot her a glare. "Thanks for the moral support."

"What? I'm just being truthful. We both know you're fucked."

I sighed. "I don't know what to do."

"James…You said you let her move in with you because you saw her again…Are you still in love with her?"

I bit my lip. "Yeah…I think I am."

* * *

**_So, there you have it. Chapter three. Did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Please review and let me know! Also, Jatieluv and I just posted a Halloween one shot on our JatieFantasy profile, called "Costume Coupling Two-Point-O", so please check that out if you get a chance :)_**


	4. Chapter 4 Apologies and Plans

_**Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever, owned Big Time Rush.**_

_**btrfanfiction1516: Awww, don't cry! And thank you for taking the time to read and review, I always appreciate it :)**_

_**A/N: As always, thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, follow, favorite, and review. It always means so much to me. :)**_

_**I'm so sorry for the wait! I've been meaning to get this chapter up, but I've been super busy and really distracted with other stuff, so it just hasn't happened. Someone hit me up on twitter earlier (you know who you are :D) to ask me to update this and it pushed me to edit this chapter and finally post it. So, hopefully you guys enjoy it and this makes up for the long wait. :)**_

_**Warnings: Language and sexual innuendos.**_

_**Enjoy the chapter :)**_

* * *

**Chapter Four – Apologies and Plans**

**James' POV**

There was a long silence as my statement settled in the dust, and then Lucy stated the obvious: "Well, fuck."

"Agreed." I sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day.

Lucy pushed her hair behind one ear. "This is just a fucking fantastic time for Katie to come back into your life. You're just now getting everything back together. The last time we talked, you even said that you were finally getting over her. And now…This isn't getting over her, dumbass!"

"I'm aware of that! You think I like this?! Look, Kendall came to me yesterday and asked me to consider letting Katie move in with me because she was living in a party dorm and her grades were dropping and if her grades plummet too much, she'll lose her scholarship. So I asked to see her because I knew once I did I could make my decision with a clear conscience."

"I am so tempted to smack you around the back of your head. You need some sense knocked into you. One of the reasons why you never visited her was because you knew that seeing her would be a bad idea. And this is a fucking bad idea!"

"You've already said that!"

"It was worth repeating because…oh my God, James. You told her you were in love with her and she rejected you."

"She didn't reject me. She just…told me she only thought of me as an older brother and couldn't really see herself ever dating me…"

"In other words, she rejected you. And then when you texted everyone the next day because your phone contacts had been changed, you never heard back from her."

"Maybe I accidentally deleted her information…" I suggested weakly.

"Bullshit. We both know that she was Ginny Weasley. It makes sense, doesn't it? Your backup information was labeled under _Harry Potter_. Kendall was Ron, and Katie's Kendall's little sister. And Harry fell in love with Ginny." She sucked hard on her drink. "Just let me tell you, if I ever get my hands on who changed the contact names in your phone, I will throw them off a fucking cliff. That was a cruel joke to play on you. I mean, only someone who knew what had just gone down between you and Katie would really get a connection between her and Ginny and you and Harry."

"Except Ginny and Harry ended up together," I mumbled.

"Exactly. Someone heard you tell Katie that you'd been in love with her for two years, and they heard her tell you that it would never happen. And once you got falling down drunk, it was a simple matter to pry your phone out of your hands and change the contacts. I just wonder who did it. A total prick, obviously. I hope they burn in hell."

I sighed. "It doesn't really matter now. It was two years ago."

"It matters to me, because…I'll never forget your face the next morning when you showed up at my front door. You looked like you had just watched your best friend die. You were completely torn up and…She did that to you, James."

"I did it to myself."

"No. No, you didn't, because you couldn't help how you felt. She did it. She did it by not even giving you a chance. By never responding to your text. By never visiting you. By taking the easy way out. Because that's what she did, James. I bet once she realized that you didn't know who anyone was in your phone, she decided to just ignore you and hope you never wised up. She was a little bitch then, and from the sounds of it she's a little bitch now. She was messing with you, James. When she said what she said yesterday, when she got all mock seductive on you. She can do that and just say it's innocent because you're seeing someone. And she's probably pissed that as far as she knows, you're no longer hung up on her."

"She told me that her last boyfriend cheated on her," I sighed heavily. "And that boys aren't really interested in her."

Lucy opened her mouth but paused as our soup and sandwiches were brought. We thanked the waiter and I took a bite of my sandwich.

Lucy stirred her soup as she said, "I hope you told her that she wouldn't have to worry about jackass boyfriends and being ignored by guys if she had given you a chance."

"I didn't, but I could tell that she was thinking that, I could see it in her eyes, in the way she looked at me once the words left her mouth. She apologized again."

"Oh, I'm sure she's sorry now. She's been in two relationships since the falling out, and neither of them have lasted very long. From what I gathered about the first one, he was constantly putting her down and treating her like crap. And the second one couldn't keep his dick in his pants?"

"I guess. I don't know if she was sleeping with him or not…" My stomach clenched slightly. "I hope she wasn't…"

Lucy reached over, entwining her fingers with mine. "I'm sorry, James. Look, I liked Katie. But the second she hurt you, she became public enemy number one in my book. And what really kills me is that I'm sure she knew how much trouble you were having after that. Your parents were on the verge of a split, you couldn't find a job, you were practically living on the streets because you couldn't handle being at home, and the girl you had been in love with for the past two years had told you it would never happen. I mean, it's no wonder you practically had a break down."

"I didn't have a break down."

"No. You just started fucking anything with a vagina."

"It started the night of the fall out," I said quietly. "I woke up, completely hung over, and completely naked. The bed had been slept in by someone else, and the other pillow smelled like a girl's shampoo. I never found out who I slept with, and I'm not sure I want to know. Everything after Katie turning me down is a complete blur."

"Does Bailey know how…promiscuous…you were?"

"No. I never told her."

"Well, she's going to have to find out eventually," Lucy reasoned. "And I take it she has no clue that you were in love with Katie?"

"Only you, Shelby, and Katie know that."

"Just as well. How did Bailey react when she found out that Katie was moving in with you?"

"She wasn't thrilled, but she told me that she trusts me."

"Yeah, don't ruin it yet. As much as I hate lying, you really shouldn't tell her that you were in love with Katie until after Katie moves out. If you do, Bailey will never trust you alone with Katie."

"She won't trust me if I don't tell her while Katie's living there," I pointed out.

"True. This whole situation is so fucked up."

"Believe me, I know." I finished my sandwich and started on my soup. "This isn't exactly my ideal situation."

"How're you going to do it? How're you going to deal living in such close quarters with her when you're still in love with her?"

"Get on medication?"

Lucy glowered at me. "I'm serious. This could really fuck with you, James. It could fuck up your entire life – Katie is great at screwing stuff up for you without even trying."

"She didn't screw stuff up for me – "

"No, but she added to it. She's fantastic at adding stress to your life. And that's all she's going to do and you know it."

"But…what if I can use this opportunity to get over her?" I asked hopefully. "What if by living in such close quarters with her, I realize that I really don't have feelings for her and that we're much better off as just friends?"

"Sure, that'll happen. And maybe I'll become a Playboy model."

"Can't you just humor me?"

"No, I can't. You have the guys for that. I'm the no-nonsense-give-it-to-you-straight friend. And I'll be here for you no matter what happens, but please, _please_ don't do anything else stupid."

"Like what?" I wanted to know, slurping up a spoonful of clam chowder.

"Like sleeping with her. And don't look at me like that," she added when I raised my eyes and widened them innocently. "We both know you would love to get her naked and in your bed, girlfriend or no girlfriend. And the second you have that, you'll never be able to move on because you'll have a taste of what you could have if she felt differently."

"And she's never going to feel differently," I sighed.

"Exactly. So keep that in mind. Do what you need to do, James. Just don't get physical with her, because once you do it's all going to hell."

"I promise. I won't sleep with her."

"Good. Can I have your crackers?"

I passed her my saltine crackers, falling quiet as I finished my food.

Once we had paid the bill and headed out of the restaurant, Lucy turned to me. "I'm sorry if I sound harsh. But I just want what's best for you. And believe me when I say that Katie is _not_ what's best for you. You have a wonderful, beautiful girlfriend who wants to be with you. Don't ruin it."

"I'm not planning to. I'm staying with Bailey. I'm not going to leave her for a girl who doesn't want to be with me."

"Good. Anyway, I have to get back to work. I'll see you later, okay? And call me or text me if you just need to talk."

"Will do." We hugged and made our way to our cars, getting in and driving off.

The first thing I noticed when I arrived back at the apartment building was an old, beige Toyota Camry sitting in the second 4D parking spot. The second thing I noticed was that Katie was getting out of the car, clutching a large rectangular box.

Furrowing my brow, I parked and climbed out of my car. "Need any help?"

She looked over at me. "Nah, I've got it. How was your lunch date?"

"Not a lunch date. It was with Lucy."

"Oh. I didn't know you still talked to her."

"We've kept in contact."

"How does Bailey feel about you being friends with one of your exes, especially since, you know, you two used to hook up even after you broke up?"

"She doesn't love it, but she's friends with a couple of her exes so she doesn't complain."

"How nice."

We walked towards the building and I held the lobby door open for her.

"Thanks," she flashed me a wide smile as she stepped into the lobby. "Always the gentleman."

"Well, I try."

We went on up to the apartment and Katie set the box on the counter. "I know I'm kind of making things awkward and weird for you and that I'm probably going to be a really awful roommate, so I got you something to kind of make up for it."

I eyed the box. "Please tell me that's not a vibrator. Because your brother got me one as a joke and I've been traumatized ever since."

"It's not a vibrator. Open it."

I did so, untying the lavender ribbon holding the lid down, and lifted the top.

Inside were a dozen dark fudge chocolate cupcakes with strawberry frosting and sprinkles.

"I know it's not much," Katie said, a little nervously, "but you've always loved chocolate cake with strawberry frosting and I was passing by the bakery on my way home so I thought I'd stop and check to see if they had any and they did so I went ahead and got some and I can always get more or next time I can get something else or – "

I held up my hand. "Relax. I still love these. Thank you."

She visibly relaxed. "Oh, thank goodness."

I pulled a cupcake out and passed it to her, before grabbing one for myself. I carefully peeled the cupcake wrapper back and took a bite, humming happily. It had been way too long since I had had cake – since my birthday, at the very least. So, yeah, okay, a little over two months ago. But still. This was something that I could eat every day and never get tired of.

"So," Katie spoke up as she bit into her own cupcake. "What did you and Lucy talk about? I mean, I'm assuming you didn't go out to lunch with her just so that you two could stare at each other and remember what it was like to sleep with each other."

I gave her a weird look. "Yeah, that didn't happen. We just talked about stuff."

"Does she want you back?"

"Lucy and I are just friends." It suddenly occurred to me that I got friend zoned by girls a lot…

"Just friends who've had some pretty memorable hookups," she reminded me, like I could ever forget.

"It's in the past. There's nothing between us anymore. Not that there ever was a lot between us. We weren't very good as a couple. We were great in bed, though."

"Don't let Bailey hear you say that," Katie warned me. "Because no girl likes hearing that her boyfriend enjoyed sleeping with someone else."

"Believe me, I have no plans to tell Bailey that. I've already put her through enough with you moving in here."

Katie nibbled on her cupcake. "Does she…um…know what you…um…told me? Two years ago?"

"I haven't mentioned it to her."

"Are you going to?"

I shrugged. "We'll see if the subject comes up. Anyway, it was two years ago. I wouldn't call it an urgent topic for conversation."

"Okay. It's just, I feel kind of guilty. I mean, I know I hurt you, and then you're being all nice and letting me move in with you, and it'd kind of be easier if you hated my guts. And you're such a sweet guy, you always were, and I feel like such an ungrateful bitch, complaining about these guys who treat me badly when I know you would have done everything in your power to make me happy, and I know I screwed up, James. I knew the second the words left my mouth. I should've given you a chance to let you change my mind and I didn't and I'm sorry."

I finished my cupcake, throwing the wrapper away. "You couldn't help it if you didn't feel the same way as me. It's not your fault."

"It kind of is. I mean, you ended up really hurt because of me."

"I ended up really hurt because of a lot of things, not just because of you. My life was basically going to shit at that time, and you rejecting me was just the icing on the poisoned cake. Anyway, I told you what I told you when I was drunk. I never would've opened my mouth otherwise. And I don't blame you for turning me down."

"You being drunk didn't matter. And I should've given it some thought, I shouldn't have just shot you down like that."

I shrugged. "If it makes you feel any better, that's pretty much the last thing I remember of that night. The rest of it is a blur."

Katie stared at me. "Why would that make me feel any better? You didn't have a good night."

"Actually, I think I did have a good night, I just don't remember it."

"Huh?"

"I hooked up with some girl that night. I got drunk off my ass and when I woke up I was in my parents' lake house, in my bedroom, alone and naked."

"But you don't know who the girl was?"

"Nope."

"Have you tried to find her?"

"No. It's a black out blur. Chances are, she doesn't remember either, so why even try to bring up a night that only happened because of alcohol."

"Right. Makes sense." She tossed her cupcake wrapper away, licking the frosting and cake crumbs from her lips.

"Did you get lunch?" I asked.

"Does the cupcake count?"

"Nope."

"Then no, I didn't." She walked over to the fridge and opened the door, pulling out the to-go box. "You are seriously the coolest guy I've ever met."

"Because I got you Chinese food?"

"Basically, yeah. And because you don't hate me."

I sighed. "I could never hate you, Katie. Never."

"Never say never," she said, voice turning small.

I moved over to stand in front of her. "Were you actually worried that I would hate you?"

She wordlessly nodded.

"Oh, Katie…" I pulled her into a tight hug, and she hugged me back, still holding onto the to-go box. "I tried to hate you, but I could never manage it. It just wasn't worth it."

She buried her face in my chest. "I – just – I mean – you were so hurt – and – and – we lost touch – and I'm just really, really sorry."

I stroked her hair, holding her tightly. "Is that why you never texted me back? When I sent out the mass text trying to figure out who everyone was? You're the only person I never heard back from."

"Y-yeah. I t-thought it'd be easier to just d-d-disap-pear." She let out a small hiccup, and when I pulled back, I could see tears glistening in her eyes. "For – for b-both of us, I m-mean." Half a sob, half a hiccup. "A-and I kn-now it was st-stupid. I was a b-bitch to y-you."

"Just let it go, Katie. It's all in the past. Okay?"

"O-okay." She hiccupped again, and I reached for a tissue, passing it to her. She blew her nose and wiped the tear tracks from her cheeks before turning back to her food. I grabbed a plate down for her and handed her a fork so that she could heat the rice up in the microwave.

"T-thanks." She blew her nose once more.

"Did you get everything unpacked?"

"P-pretty close. I just need to – um – set up the stuff I grabbed from my house."

"What'd you grab?"

"My old lava lamp, a few books, a couple of stuffed animals, and the bottle of scotch I hid under my bed."

I gave her a dark look, and she responded with a watery smile.

"I'm joking, I'm joking. I gave my lava lamp away years ago."

I continued to stare at her.

"Fine. There is no bottle of scotch. Which, by the way, you must be the only twenty-four year old man in this world who doesn't have any decent alcohol."

"I'm not big on drinking."

"You were two years ago."

"A lot's changed since then." I propped myself up on the counter as she popped her plate of food in the microwave. "I'm not really much of a partier now. It kind of seems pointless."

"I guess it is." She shrugged, punching the time into the microwave. "I don't know, I don't really party either. It's not really my thing. I tried it and didn't like it."

I nodded. "After awhile I just got tired of the whole scene. Nothing felt right anymore. The whole thing just drove me nuts."

"It drove me nuts," she said, watching the time flash by on the microwave's screen. "Seeing all these dumbasses staggering around because they were either falling down drunk, or as high as a kite, or both. And I never saw the point with random hookups, either. I mean, I guess I can understand making out with a hot guy, but sex? It never made much sense to me."

I didn't say anything to that, and she gave me an apologetic look.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it in a bad way. To each their own. I guess I just like the idea of sleeping with someone who you're in love with, or are at least in a committed relationship with."

"No, it's fine. And I get it. That's one reason why I stopped hooking up with different girls. For one thing, I was running out of eligible females. And for another, sex had completely lost its meaning."

"No offense, but did sex ever have any meaning to you?"

"I guess it did to a point. And then when things went to shit, it was how I dealt with stuff."

"So what changed?" The microwave beeped and she opened the door, snatching up an oven mitt and carefully pulling her food out before setting it on the counter.

"I started working at the theater."

"Okay…"

"The manager of the theater is this really cool guy. He's a little bit older than me, probably in his mid thirties. Anyway, we got to talking about our lives one day after rehearsal for the play I was doing. He had been supervising it, making sure that there wasn't anything he needed to have maintenance fix or whatever. So, I hung back and we were talking and somehow the topic got onto sex."

Katie snorted. "Gee, two guys talking about sex. What else is new?"

"Shut up. Anyway, I told him that I'd kind of been sleeping around because it was a way for me to forget things. I mean, if I had just been with one girl night after night I probably would've been happy. But the girls I was meeting just weren't into that, or maybe I wasn't sending the right signals, or I don't even know. But I was already thinking that something was missing and I mentioned that to him, and he kind of nodded and said, 'Maybe it's lost any redeeming value to you. Maybe you're only sleeping with these girls because you need to feel like someone out there loves you, if only for a little while.' And it made a lot of sense, but I was just like, 'Isn't that a chick's M.O? I mean, they're the ones who're big on love and emotions usually.' And he laughed and said, 'Not necessarily. I always connected sex with love and my wife did too. We waited until our wedding night.' I mean, it was insane that this guy had waited until his wedding night to sleep with his wife, that sex meant that much to him."

"Was she his first?"

"She was, I asked him to specify."

"Wow…"

"Right? Anyway, it kind of got me thinking after that and I just…couldn't do it anymore. Not without some sort of commitment, at least."

"Thus Bailey. You two have that commitment? I mean, maybe not love, but…"

"We're not seeing anyone else, so yeah, we do."

"Okay. So, do you actually like her, or is she just an easy excuse to get laid?"

I frowned at her. "Of course I like her."

"Okay, just making sure. It's good that you're in a steady relationship. You seem happy."

"I am."

"Good." She nodded. "Does she know about your hit it and quit it lifestyle?"

"No, I also haven't mentioned that to her…"

"You sure don't mention a lot of things to her," Katie commented.

I scowled in reply.

She shrugged. "Just an observation. Anyway, speaking of Bailey, do you have plans with her tonight?"

"Not at the moment. Why?"

"Well, I was thinking that if you're both free, maybe we could all do something. I mean, Bailey and I didn't exactly start off on the right foot."

"Gee, I wonder why."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's my fault. But let me make it up to you guys. We could have dinner and then have one of our bad horror movie night marathons. You remember, like the ones we had when we were younger?"

I smiled a little. One Halloween, when Katie was around ten or so, she had come down with a bad cold and hadn't been able to go out trick or treating or to the town's annual haunted house with her friends. Mr. and Mrs. Knight had had plans to go to a Halloween party, and Kendall had volunteered to help out at their church Halloween dance, so I had been asked to stay with Katie. It was probably the only year that I hadn't had any plans, but I was fourteen and I was too old to go trick or treating, I was too old to actually think that the haunted house was cool, and I was too young to go to the parties that the juniors and seniors were having. Anyway, when I had arrived at the Knights' house, I found a very stuffed up, very moody little ten year old girl. Once her parents left, I had sat down with Katie and tried to come up with something to entertain her, but she was insistent that this was "the worst Halloween ever."

We had been flipping through channels, trying to come up with something good to watch on TV, when we happened upon an old horror movie from, like, the 1940s. It was in black and white and so bad that we were both screaming and laughing at the same time. After that, a couple of times a year Katie and I would have a bad horror movie night marathon until we finally conked out on the couch in front of the TV.

"So?" Katie broke into my trip down memory lane. "How about it?"

I nodded. "Sure. I'll give Bailey a call."

"Cool." She smiled at me. "Tonight's going to be awesome."

* * *

_**So, there was chapter 4 :) Hopefully you guys liked it and are looking forward to more. If you could, it'd mean a lot to me if you'd take the time to drop a review. :)**_


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